Forgiveness is often described as one of the highest virtues. In Christianity, believers are called to “forgive as you have been forgiven.” In Buddhism, forgiveness is tied to letting go of attachment to anger. In Indigenous healing traditions, forgiveness is seen as restoring harmony within the community and the self. These perspectives can offer powerful meaning and hope — especially for people of deep faith here in Edmonton, where spirituality and community values are central to many lives.
Yet, when trauma is part of the story, forgiveness is far from simple. Trauma leaves not only memories but also deep emotions: betrayal, anger, sadness, fear, and grief. These are not weaknesses; they are natural human responses to harm. When survivors feel pressured — by religious teachings, family, or even their own expectations — to forgive too quickly, they may feel like they are failing both spiritually and emotionally.
The truth is, you cannot skip over pain on the way to forgiveness. Betrayal must be named, anger felt and expressed safely, grief acknowledged. Skipping these steps can lead to a kind of “surface forgiveness” — one that looks good to others but leaves wounds unresolved.
Forgiveness in Healing
As a Registered Psychologist in Edmonton, I see forgiveness as one possible part of recovery — never a requirement. Healing begins with processing trauma: learning to manage symptoms, rebuilding safety, and reclaiming a sense of self. Only then can forgiveness, if it aligns with your beliefs, feel authentic. Importantly, forgiveness does not excuse harm. Instead, it can release you from the grip of resentment so trauma has less control over your life.
The VA Forgiveness Handout defines forgiveness as releasing anger and resentment — not forgetting, excusing, or reconciling. It outlines four stages:
- Uncovering – recognizing the impact of harm
- Decision – choosing to explore forgiveness
- Work – processing emotions, perhaps opening to compassion
- Deepening – finding meaning, growth, or renewed purpose
These stages mirror the process of trauma therapy. Forgiveness, when it comes, is gradual and cannot be forced (VA Forgiveness Handout).
Spirituality and Trauma Recovery
Research from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs National Center for PTSD shows how spirituality and trauma can intersect in both healing and harm (VA source). Supportive spiritual beliefs can foster resilience, while rigid or unsupportive beliefs may create guilt or inner conflict — especially if survivors feel pressured to forgive before they are ready. As the VA notes, “when religious beliefs are supportive, they may foster recovery, but when they are unsupportive or rigid, they may interfere with healing.”
The Spirit & Soul Whole Health model also emphasizes connecting with meaning, values, and purpose. Practices like journaling about what matters most, using prayer or meditation as spiritual anchors, and creating daily rituals can strengthen recovery (VA Spirit & Soul Resource). In trauma therapy in Edmonton, these practices complement evidence-based approaches. Therapy helps calm the body and process painful memories, while spirituality can bring strength, connection, and hope.
Reflection Questions
- What role does forgiveness play in my faith or personal values?
- Am I giving myself permission to feel betrayal, anger, and grief before moving toward forgiveness?
- Do I see forgiveness as an obligation or as a choice?
A Gentle Invitation
If you are struggling with anger, betrayal, or questions around forgiveness, you don’t have to face it alone. Therapy can provide a safe, supportive space to explore these feelings, honor your faith, and move toward genuine healing.
I currently offer virtual sessions across Alberta and in-person sessions at my Glenora office in Edmonton beginning Fall 2025. If you’re searching for a psychologist in Edmonton specializing in trauma recovery and PTSD treatment, I invite you to connect with me.
Forgiveness and Trauma Recovery Resources
- VA Forgiveness Handout – Stages of forgiveness, reflection exercises, and safe practices
- Spirit & Soul Whole Health Resource – Exploring values, spirituality, and meaning in healing
- Addressing Religious or Spiritual Dimensions of Trauma and PTSD – Research on spirituality and trauma recovery
- Genovese Trauma and PTSD Recovery
About Genovese Trauma & PTSD Recovery
If you’re seeking trauma recovery in Edmonton or want to explore how EMDR therapy in Alberta can help you or someone you love rebuild trust and resilience, I’d be glad to support you. At Genovese Trauma & PTSD Recovery, I specialize in evidence-based treatment for PTSD, dissociation, and the lasting effects of chronic trauma.
Maddalena Genovese, Registered Psychologist
Clinical Director and Practice Owner
Address: 13612 103 Ave, Edmonton (In-person appointments starting Fall 2025)
Phone: 780.993.1824
Email:
Website: www.genovesetrauma.ca
